When she first dropped bomb we talked about this quite a bit. Since I implemented 180 though we haven't talked about it at all. But, here's my take away from those talks and reading.
There's a lot of resentment built up. Not for any one thing I ever did or didn't do. I would say rather for unmet expectations. This resentment led to lack of (and/or unfulfilling) physical and emotional intimacy. Then, we drifted apart emotionally, etc. So, she's debating whether it's possible to repair things or if she should just start over.
We actually separated once before (5 1/2) years ago and reconciled 2 months after we had physically separated. At that time, I didn't know 180 and basically pushed her out of the house. But, clearly, despite having gone to counseling when we reconciled last time and improving communication, there were unresolved issues that remain.
From 5 love languages, her primary love types are Quality Time and Acts of Service. I would say that I lost site of these and instead of her reminding or asking me about it, she just let resentment build up. Now, for my 180 I've been trying to keep these more of a primary focus, but it does seem at times to be at odds with detaching myself.
