W won't stop EA with OM!

[gogofo]

Rubi

I will let you know what happened to me when I was doing good DBing.

When first separated my W would call and say the kids missed me and wanted me to go to the park with them. This happened a couple times and I went when she offered. At this point in hind sight it seemed that the OM was out of the picture. I say this because she acted differently towards me, more positive and like she missed me.

The kids wanting to see me was a lie, she told me this later. She missed the family aspect in her life. I was doing good and not smothering her and being scarce, I was detached and with drawing from her so she was pursuing me.

We slowly did more things together and started what I thought was reconciliation. I dropped the ball and did not make her accountable in regards to no contact with OM.

Later in my situation, after a couple of separations, I could see when we did things together she was acting different. (This is all from hind sight and looking objectively at my situation.) She seemed more detached or like her mind was somewhere else. This is when the OM and her had started connecting again. I had my head to far up her backside to see this, I just felt that she needed to see me loving her more.

Like the advice above, use your ears more than your mouth. When we were at the park together I took these opportunities as auditioning for being a husband again. I showed her, with actions, that she would be crazy to want to leave me. It worked, I was strong and confident and independent.

I agree with doing a lunch, but not a weekend. Keep her wanting more and keep being distant and mysterious and keep up your own life.

I dropped my independence and became needy and super attached to my W and now I am D'd.

You are doing awesome and facing your fears and following excellent advice. Keep it up and dig deep for the strength to do what works, even if it feels wrong. You are much stronger than I was at this point and it looks to be getting you results.