Ive been married for nearly 4 years together for 7, I have a nearly 4 year old boy and a step daughter of 9. Both for my wife and I this is our second marriages.
We had an exciting, solid, full filling marriage (or so I thought)
In december 2014 I felt some change in my wife.but not sure. Her phone became sacred, no longer letting the children have it.
In jan 15 i would often find myself waking in the middle of the night to see the glow of the phone screen. I asked about this to be told I was paranoid.
In feb 15 my wife starting acting more and more odd especialy on the evening my daughter did sport. My W would make sure that I was busy with my son. On one occasion i swung past the gym hall to see a guy getting up from the table she was sitting at, leaving a coat and disappering. On asking her whose coat she denied all knowledge. I left as I knew she was lying and I had my son in the car. I asked her direct and she said only a friend.......
I thought otherwise. with some questioning and sleepless nights some of the affair came out, Told it was nothing only meeting, an emotional affair. She said she new there was no future in it and that she would be the hurt one out it. She said she ended it.
I suggested going to see someone to talk openly. My wife chose a therapist who listened to her tell the story from her perspective for one hour, he gave me 15 mins and had already made his mind up about the problem. ME. I was told i was to good,helping around the house, always helping her when she came to me with a problem, (A fixer) but thats me.
My wife when we met seemed like a strong independant woman, but she was not, She is highly intelligent and had suffered a sexual trauma in early childhood with a family member, with teenage years in the depths of Anorexia and Bulema and is very high emotional maintenance, always seeking reassurance, very looks focused....... But fast foreward a few weeks and following on from 2 more sessions individualy things looked like they may have been getting back on track.
Until last week. She had changed again recently slipping back into being loving one minute and cold the next. I had been trying to be up beat about life, smiling playing with the kids, "letting her be" to sort her dramas her self.
Until last thursday morning i tried a code on her locked phone. (never done this before, but what had happened before made me look) and yes BOMB.
Texts and pictures of our house, our childrens bedrooms including one of the stairs with the text (I bet you would like to F*&k me on those) text about a voice message my son and W had done.......
I confronted my wife with anger and disbelief, my wife tried to grab the phone back and i pushed her away. I went down stairs, my children were having breakfast and with shouting we argued, W saying it was nothing just flirty joke texts. me not understaning, my daughter asking what was going on and me telling her. (I AM NOT PROUD OF THAT)
I went away for a night and when I came back my wife was all over me and then instantly cold again. She says she has now night mares that I am chasing her and she is scared. I have never lifted a finger to her, our children or any other human being. She seems to be deamonising me. I feel lost.
I am in the UK and want to speak with someone but due to time difference this may be difficult.
