Part 18 - Creeping onward

[edz]

Hi rd and Dawn

Rd, trying my friend definitely trying. I think I now identify what were my issues, no not everything but the depression stopped me seeing what was happening to a large extent. No idea if I'll ever be "cured" of that but I can 'be' now which I think makes all the difference. We shall see

Dawn, isnt it though?! I've been through some interesting times including losing my mother when I was in my twenties (she was in her 40s) but this last 9 months (are the t-shirts still in the post Toots?) have been the worst/most trying/ground changing I've been through. Ultimately I'm coming out this end as a much lighter (physically and mentally burdened) person with a better view of whats important, a working loving relationship with my son and - I hope - a chance at putting together a relationship with my wife which will stay solid (no expectations still there for my own sake).

As I said I now (with the curse/gift of time) recognise that things could not have carried on with the three of us being unhappy in our own worlds, this time in my life has changed that and I hope can lead to us still being together in a format we can all be ourselves and happy if not then at least I will have learned new tools and a bit more about who I am and what I want going forwards.

Im not giving up any time soon though.

I have also, of course, met all you good people, something that has made all the difference in the darkest hours

Cheers guys

Edz