I don't have the wisdom to be a good single parent. Nor do I have a decent parenting partner to help me.
I wish I were better at this. It hurts. I don't know how to cope. D12 doesn't do as I say (go to bed, help with dishes, don't change into your pajamas till we're done with this whatever) till she's argued for a couple of hours and stood there screaming, blame shifting, nagging, and kicking things over.
Sometimes I feel like I live in the center of a hurricane. Like STBX's disrespect for me (longstanding and highly exploited by D even 5-6 years ago) has rubbed off on her. Now she treats me like that too, and it's going to be a long uphill battle to teach her not to. With mis-steps and frustrations on the way. And I really don't know what to do.
Other times she's a wonder -- sweet, helpful, talkative, whatever.
I *know* there's a lot on her mind, some from our witch some from being 12. But that doesn't excuse her from self-control and just knowing how to pick her battles. Her brothers are "pick your battles" pros. She acts like every single argument is a life and death cage fight. I can't live like this. But this is my life. I've got to figure it out.
And tomorrow at the office is going to be another long, drawn-out fun fest. I wish I was wiser.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
