I think the right balance would be to go out to lunch with W and not go out on a long weekend event.
Do not bring up reconciliation because you are NOT at the piecing stage at all. Not by a long shot. Your W has to work on being completely open and transparent that she's not involved with OM any longer. That is the FIRST big hump you two need to confront together.
Forget about reconciliation for now.
As for sleeping on the sofa, it is a choice that W made. I would not allow her back in the MBR just yet because the OM isn't completely out of the picture yet. I've said before, you really need to sit back to observe, monitor and adjust.
If W attempts to get back in the MBR, you can say this:
I don't want everyone to get confused with you moving back in the MBR. It's not that simple anymore. We both have work to do in rebuilding trust and that starts with a complete transparency plan that demonstrates to me that you've cut all ties with the OM. This is a non-negotiable for me and for us.
Meanwhile continue working on being the stark contrast to the OM in your W's eyes. Be a man only a fool would leave. Smart, Confident, ans Strong.
No talk of reconciliation. Trust the moment. Trust the process.
Trust, but verify when it comes to no contact with the OM.
