How does not standing in her way not blatantly say "you and your lawyer will have time to build up your case I'm just going to stick my head in the sand"
I think you misunderstand what this line really means:
I don't want a D, but won't stand in your way.
It communicates to W in not so many words that her choice to initiate a D is a bad idea, but you respect her decision. She's free to do whatever she wants to do. Yet at the time time she hears you saying that you don't want a D.
Won't stand in her way is communicating to her that you heard her and she's free to do the filing. However, you will not do any of her leg work nor help her with this process.
It is not sticking your head in the sand. Simply put: you inform her of your position. Nothing more, nothing less.
Many LBSes have used this line. It is honest and authentic.
