Also. I've told her on two different conversations tonight that I want divorce well , not screw her and go through a mediator together vs a lawyer. She said that's what she wants too. It's really been the first open communication and conversation we've had since December when she first told me she wasn't in love with me. I want to stand strong and told her while she's living in the same house she has to come back every night. Won't explain that to the boys. She agreed. Really need help to balance taking a stand, gaining respect back but no pushing so far that she gets angry and no longer wants to mediate. Especially because she hired a lawyer without telling me because she was unsure how I would react and felt I would retaliate. Also trying to protect myself financially even though I still want not need too have this marriage in a direction of healing
Here is a script for YOU to keep in the back pocket for the next time W brings up this type of talk. If you cannot do this in person, then write an email to W.
You need to know that a D isn't what I want, but I will not stand in your way nor help with the paperwork. I am not willing to live an an open marriage with the OM in the picture. It is extremely disrespectful to me. I am willing to work with you on the M should you decide to end things with OM.
You need to know that we WILL NOT be friends after a D. Meanwhile, I will be cordial and respectful on logistics related to the children. I will continue to support the children by paying money in a joint account for their needs. Our family money is not to be used to fund your ongoing affair with the OM.
Oh yeah...W will get ANGRY and spew. Because WAW wants to continue have it both ways: a H at home and OM on the side.
Just put on your spew jacket and say, "I am sorry you feel this way. I am not going to apologize for making a stand on our M and taking steps to protect us against a predator."
