You realize that you're not responsible for your H's inferiority complex? Nor are you required to make yourself look less successful so that he feels better about his own path?
I don't think that this was your job to take on. It was up to *him* to take more of an active partnership role in your M. It was up to *him* to let you know that he felt less than. Had he done that, I'm sure you would have listened and attempted to restructure things so that he could get what he needed.
I know, I know. I've always known it logically and I see it clearly in the marriage now, but when I was right in the middle of it - it was not as obvious. Something to be aware of for the future.
I'm capable of spotting this and handling it better. You know - the guy I dated right before him was a senior manager in the company I worked at, and at first I was just an entry level supervisor. Within a year - I was at his level, and he just really had a hard time with it and started saying things like "You know - work is just not easy for me, the way it is for you". I ended that one, for that reason. I still felt kind of guilty though, when he was fired two months later and they assigned his department to me as an appendage of my own.
Anyway- I think I let my version of being a supportive wife muddy the waters on this one.
Something else I have to consider - both of my highly educated and accomplished sisters, married men who would traditionally be considered "go-getters" (one BIL is a general in the army, and the other holds a high position in the local healthcare industry) and they had the opportunity and chose to be SAHMs. Why did I choose such a different route and such a different partner? Something for me to chew on.
Thank you for all time and thought you put in on my situation, Betsey. It really helps focus and clarify my thoughts and is much appreciated! Hope this week is a little sunnier for you.
