H's MLC #9 Time To Focus on Me

[2BHappy]

Job, M4

H has an obsession with washing his car, always had.
So it was not a huge surprise to me, but becuase he was focused on washing the car and then only then going to see new baby IF he had time, that was the crazy part to me.

History: H grew up very poor and as an adult always felt like his appearance, his car, his home is a refection on him (in some ways this is true for everyone) but H really obsesses on this and always had. Has always gone out of his way to make sure he dressed and looked his best, usually very neat around the house, keeps his car clean always. I hope now he is working on his INSIDES.

H did go see baby, he had SS's GF take 2 pictures and text to me with him holding the baby and get this H had a lil smile on his face.

fast forward to 2am this morning, H comes home from work and wakes me up to tell me he went to see the baby (now I know he had GF take and send me the pics) I told him I know and that was very nice, he then wanted to talk about the items we were getting the baby,,,he then lingered at end of bed like something else was on his mind, something he wanted to say,,,or maybe that was just me in my "why the heck did you wake me at 2am when I have to get up at 5am to tell me something I already know" mind.

I feel like there is a shift happening, and it's either being caused by how Im reacting to H, or H moving into another phase or maybe a lil of both. I do notice something cannot put my finger right on it...

Now when something happens that I do not like and I let H know he is very apologetic (after BD, MY thoughts or feelings would have been totally ignore.

H also seems calmer, not wearing as much tension or stress on his face (other then this last issue with the filing of taxes). BUT I did noticed in the text picture sent, H looks much older.

I think, maybe H may be "feeling" more guilt about things, and he does kinda respond like he is a child whoes mother is upset with him.

I know I have been acting some as his mother before and after BD, and I'm working on that going forward, especially since Im detaching more and NOT jumping in to save him.

Job, Vets, anyone...is this the possibility of a new phase H is moving into, and if so what should I be on the look out for, I need to be as prepared as possible.