I bumped into W by chance whilst out and about this morning. She was cordial enough but it was like meeting an acquaintance you haven't seen in a while more than anything else. I felt little for her. Cleary she felt just as little for me. After parting ways she ended up walking on the opposite pavement in an embarrassed fashion whilst I met approaching relatives on the other side of the road.
After someones disrespected you time and time again and smacked your head into a wall over and over again, you might start to feel this way.
Originally Posted By: alpha99
Later in the day she called, mainly to complain about money. I said I won't be her on call bank. She made vague threats over child maintenance payments but we agreed over moving forward with house sale and a few other things. It seems we'll be able to get along well enough for the kids but amazingly I have virtually zero desire to work things out right now. I feel for my children but I am seeing W in a different light. The kind, caring person has been replaced by a selfish, manipulative, greedy person. I find her less attractive now.
Now you can SEE. Nope, it isn't attractive. I understand the lack of desire. You do not like the person that she is. And what she is shown you is what she is to you.
Originally Posted By: alpha99
During our call D was briefly mentioned. I'm at the point where that word doesnt strike fear into my heart anymore. As our sitch stands now it is the logical outcome. It's not that I've given up, it's just I've completely detached. I can't spend life hanging on for the wind to change direction when it seemingly never will. If months or years down the line she came back to the person she was and wanted to R, that's something I'd have to deal with then. It's not a given I'd want her back then. I may have moved on completely. I'm not holding out for that day anymore anyway. I plan to live my life the best I can, do my children proud, do new things, meet new people, and experience life in a new way for me.
It is a logical and a desireable outcome. And nope they don't come back around except for many years. Even if the world lands her smack on her rear, she will keep running away from you.
Being with her is not desireable for you. I wouldn't worry about any future either, because it keeps you from being focused on what you need to be doing.
Originally Posted By: alpha99
All of that leads me to tomorrow. I am going out in the evening with my new friend. I guess just the two of us for a meal and cinema means it's a date right? I will play it by ear and casually drop in 'separated/kids' where appropriate if it has the air of a date.
It's a date. But it is meeting with a friend. Never the less a date. Go by the single mans rules...
