"I have no ability to be intimate or share myself. I isolated myself and put walls up. I'm seeing a new therapist in an effort to address the issue."
Were you like this when you were dating? If not, then what do you think changed?
"I ignored her, I talked to her the bare minimum, I did not give compliments or show interest in her. Angry vibe, but not openly displaying it. Grouchy. Not sharing anything about myself."
So were you like this when you were dating her?
"Again, I'll point to the "as if" behavior (which, btw, the book is very clear about what this means and it's not "act as if everything is ok")."
You're misunderstanding the "act as if" when it comes to getting your M back on track.
"I was heavily depressed. I have a restricted license (meaning I can't just up and take the kids somewhere)."
Can you elaborate? I know it's painful, but the more details you can give us the better.
"I've come out of the depression and am seeking help from a variety of sources, including individual therapy and counseling."
Sounds like you're still in the depression funk. It's coming through in your posts. What positives are there in your life right now? Can you see any?
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
