Hi T. Ok, so, a few things. Stop looking at facebook. Seriously. It will make you crazy.
Your h is in crisis. That means you cannot know what he is thinking because he doesnt even know. Trust me on that.
Those things are not baby steps, sweetie. Those are the actions of someone who is sick and confused.
As I wrote to you, he wants to be heard. He is feeling you arent hearing him. When you pursue, when you tell him you want to go to counseling, etc. he feels unheard. That pushes him further.
You need to get yourself good and strong, T. That is what is going to get you through this.
This was a crisis that was destined to happen and no amount of loving him is going to get him through it. Only he can do that.
What you need to do is live your life. That means handling things on your own.
He thinks that getting rid of the marriage is going to make him happy. That's because he is so depressed. So he lashes out on the thing and person closest to him....you and the marriage.
Until he sees that isnt the case, he will not look within. Yet looking within is the only thing that can get him through the crisis.
So, yea, when your children are sad, you need to be the one to step up. It isnt right, but, its what is right now.
Thinking that by calling him about it is going to make him feel guilty is fauty thinking. It just gets them angry.
He needs to see something different from you so that it builds up in his mind that things can be different.
Please do not contact his parents. Do not discuss this with his family. Do not say anything negative about him to the children.
Those things get them angry, too. And you want to keep the road paved home smooth.
Tell us about you, T...about your childhood. Tell us about his, too.
