Bond has given you some good guidance and asking you really good questions to get you to look into your issues & patterns.
I do want to respond to these comments:
Originally Posted By: Winhamn
Then I got into work to find an email from my wife trying to gentle put in place a custodial arrangement while we live together but are separated. She even was asking me to leave the house for periods of time when she "has the kids". She wants to start "getting a feel for when we don't live together". It's got me feeling panic, the tightness in my chest, and anxiety.
My feeling is that she needs to learn how to deal with her own discomfort that is a result of her own choices. Forcing you out of your own home isn't right at all. You can say that you understand that she wants to "road test" a potential separation that you do not agree with and that you are not going to accommodate her uncomfortable emotions by leaving your own house. She's going have to work through her own emotions by confronting them herself and not asking you to leave. That's whack!
Instead, if she wants to spend time with the kids, then she can take them someplace else in the house or take them out to some activity.
