Zelda - almost there

[Zelda09]

TIFU bc I got into it with him over email and deviated from business.

Today I discovered almost $400 of charges on phone bill from H that he didn't take care of when transferred. I wrote a polite and succinct email, his response was that since I asked him to be off plan, it was my problem. (He'd canceled utility services the day before I asked him to be off without the slightest word to me; I incurred those costs to set up, and that no where figured in his rationale or logic why I should also incur these costs.)

He tried to tell me how kind he was being sleeping on a nasty old mattress bc he 'had perfectly good furniture at home' and knew I didn't have a replacement set and it was a two way street, he really hoped I saw our split that way. (Home?! Dude, no.) I reminded him why he was on a mattress somewhere, due to his own rage and apathy, told him it most def was not a two way street, I just wanted him to pay his bill and come get his furniture, I'd had enough of his kindness. Told him exactly what I thought of his nice guy act for the world, in light of all he'd done, how pretty it was that he could say he came back to work on his M to all friends and family and then was kicked out. Bet he wasn't telling them he picked up his half mil settlement that day he suddenly gave up, it wasn't lost on me that all of his 'inabilities' disappeared, so forgive me if I don't believe it was my annoyance at your undone errand - and btw my cousin would have never let him stay if he'd been honest, and how he told me last Sun he'd rather sleep around than think on anything, thank you for your honesty, H, I finally don't care anymore. And when were we going to actually get those papers done?? I was all business until I let loose on that one.

Response was to tell me that I'd once said people can't be with each other when there's no respect. I lost respect for him years ago and he felt hated. And I could tell myself whatever else I wanted. That I could keep his furniture and he would get papers done.

I stopped myself before I tried to respond the way I wanted to. I'd said enough and he could have the last word. Still 180ing!

I guess whatever he needs to think or say to look in the mirror. Maybe in the past I would have come back to let him know how much I did love him and respect him and apologize I'd made him feel that. I am so bitter and wanted to tell him maybe he doesn't respect himself and hates himself, and that's why he runs from his own life repeatedly. That I recognized the deflection in his response. Yes, H, of course you are justified.

I find it so odd he made reference to having furniture at home. Not 'your house' or 'the house.'

So! Verdict - is it a game he knows he's playing, or does he actually just feel sorry for himself, unloved and oh how he tried to work on our M?