Wow I am back. I am tired and beat. I am now officially divorced as of the end of February. I had hoped that would bring me the closure that I need. My ex is really trying to be friends. He asks me to go out with him and the kids all the time and even spent the night last week. When I told him that wasn't appropriate he got upset and said we can determine how we do this and what we make of it.
He is right but my issue is I am starting to think again that I can save this I can make this work. What am I saving? It's done. My mind is getting confused and my heart is breaking again. Every interaction with him is a reminder to me that we are no longer a family.
I just told him that I don't know if I can do the friends thing because it makes it hard to move on. I recognize that relationship and marriage is over but my heart and brain are saying conflicting things. My divorce busting mind says you just let him come and go and build on the friendship and that could lead to reconciliation. On the other hand it keeps me stuck. Will I never move on? What do I do? I still see him as my H and I think he is confused too but as soon as I talk about my confusion he gets mad. He says I have been very honest with you.
Advice?
M12 Kids 2 ILYBINILWY 08/05 Reconciled 05/06 S07/12 Moved back 03/13 Separated Again 06/24/13 Back Again (his choice) 02/14 Leaving again 03/23/14 DIVORCED 02/15