i can anticipate your response that the biggest obstacle is in fact ME. But that is wrong, I am willing and able to change. "
You really don't get it do you? You haven't changed. You keep saying you have, yet time and time again you've proven in your actions and words here that you haven't. Then when you get called out on it, rather than going through and seeing what we pointed out that you haven't realized, you insist on saying we're wrong and you're right.
There is alot of resentment in you, I get that. But you can't let it go. Like I mentioned before, I've seen dozens of posters like you and they all sounded like you. They never saved their M's because they were more interested in talking than listening. But that's your choice.
Mr Bond is spot on in his advice here.
DB'ing is counterintuitive, so sometime what seems like should be up is down and when you think you should look left it is right. If you are acting the same way in real life as you act here you are going to be in for a long ride.
DB101 says start with a beginners mind Throw everything you "know" out the window and start from scratch.
Whether the biggest obstacle is YOU or not - the only person that YOU can CONTROL is YOU. SO that is the best place to start.
