Winhamn intro - D in process, WAW

[MrBond]

"More recently, I was very withdrawn. I distanced myself from her."

Why?

"Our interactions gradually dropped off. She turned to her phone and her friends to fill that void, to look to people who would show interest and care in her that I would not. She recently spent a lot of time telling me I never tell her she is pretty, that I only tell her I find her physically attractive."

Is she right? How did you treat her if you distanced yourself from her? Were you grouchy? Angry? etc.

"She is estranged from her mom, from an early age. I think she needs to know someone cares about her, thinks she's worthwhile, and can show her acceptance and love."

Possibly. But you're not her psychologist. Stick to what YOU can do for her.

"I have a lot of emotional problems, and they've steadily gotten worse over the last six months, as I've been depressed and really stressed out."

From what? Have you done anything to correct this?

"I've been behaving "as if" she doesn't care about me, "as if" she's been unsupportive, "as if" she would choose anything else over me. My behavior and attitude were adjusted accordingly. And now, I've sealed that fate."

I think you misunderstand the concept of "as if". You're supposed to act "as if" you're fine and build up your strength physically, mentally, spiritually AND emotionally.

"I'm really struggling with how to respond to her request to have me watch the kids for the first half of Saturday then to be out of the house overnight."

If you don't want to do it, then say 'NO'. If you want to watch your kids, take them out on an overnight somewhere. Do something that your W would never have wanted to go do. Give them an EXPERIENCE with you that they won't forget.