How long does MLC last anyway. I think he started a couple of years ago. As I think back on things it seems his personality which was always very loving, caring and giving, bringing me flowers every week and lunch at work to he just stopped a couple of years ago and once in a while he would call for lunch but not like it use to be. He would text and call from work. Last summer he did that less frequent to now where I don't hear from him at all.
He became angrier. He is now angry every day at me or at least whenever he sees me. He told the therapist this also that he is angry every time he sees me and doesn't know why.
Hi skhdive. I think people say 5-7 years with MLC. My H also shows signs of MLC, starting from a couple of years ago. He shows no signs of coming out right now. Have you read the stuff on hearts blessings website? I found that helpful. I also read Jim Conway's book, which was quite helpful. Both have helped me feel more empathetic if H is going through this. I'm reluctant to diagnose/label, but I think it's good to cover all the bases - just in case!
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
You sound really good. I am sure you have the ups and downs as we all have experienced. But I would say you have the right attitude.
It's very hard to determined if our Hs are dealing w/MLC or if they are just lost at some point in life and want to taste freedom, adventure again. Maybe they are very bored with the family life.
The truth is that I tried my best to go in circles looking for the answers of all my "Why this and why that", and it was just that... circles.
There is nothing we can do really, we can't control what they do or want. We can control ourselves and our lives and try to make somewhat the best of it.
With time I have been learning to let go a little more. It hurts, but I have been better for myself lately.
Hope you can find peace during this transition time, have hope and keep doing what is best for yourself.
Pink17, you also seem very strong. In the beginning that is all I could think about was what he was doing why was this happening it was crazy, who is this guy? I asked where is the guy I married and he said he is dead. I believe him now.
I do not want him in my life as the guy he is now. He is a downer, no fun. He use to laugh and joke around. If we fought it would be for 2 seconds and then one of us would make a joke. Now he holds on to anger for days. You walk on egg shells when he is around. I felt like I was a tap dancer. LOL. He has told so many lies, hiding money, going places, text messaging other women and then saying he wasn't. Trust is blown.
I think it would take too much to get it back now. He has said so many hurtful things and really just walking out and leaving my son and us to fiend for ourselves just burns me and saying he doesn't even think about me. It pushed me over the edge to where I saw that my life has continued and is better without him in it as I don't have to listen to all his crap.
there are more fish in the sea and quite frankly I life the freedom I have to do as I please and not answer to anyone but myself and my child.
I have gone total dark. I don't even think about him until I come here and then its always just makes me even more determined to detach.
What is it about when you see them you feel like a tornado hit you and everything positive is sucked right at of you.
Got home today and there was H. Looking his usually depressed unhappy self. It [censored] the life right out of me. He has been gone for 8 days with no word from him (we are separated but he comes to the house to pick up our child for school some days). I have been doing and feeling very positive then there he is and he makes me feel like I am making him be this unhappy depressed person. Trouble is he says when he is not around me he is fine and happy. So shouldn't he still be happy even though he stops by to pick up our child. How can he be happy and then when he sees me go all unhappy? He should still be happy I don't talk about our R or anything and remain my usual happy self. I feel like he is lying about being happy and fine when he is not around me I think its an act.
