I hucked a waterfall.

[mahhhty]

Lost... That means a lot. Thank you. I do feel myself moving forward. I do feel like divorce pushed me to change my entire life, either accept it or fight it. By accepting it and learning, I feel that my future is brighter now than it was at the end of my marriage.

Be Warned... Another Journal Entry with a question at the end...
I paddled last night and am shaping up to paddle again tonight. I can't say enough that I love paddling. I love living in the moment, and searching for flow moments.

Yesterday before I went paddling, I had an IC appointment. We had a good conversation about my recent activities, about this board, about the impending coffee meeting, about my reactions and controlling behavior, and about detaching.

My IC was never one that tried to understand the DB principles, he maintained that I should always be moving towards a detached state, as I can't control her, shouldn't try, and should leave her to her own devices and life as long as it doesn't impact the children.... Which coincides with MWD principles.

However, we then started to discuss detaching. I view detaching as a Catch 22 (and Mozza mentions this a little on his previous comments), the more I detach the more I come to realize that my life is mine. The more I do things that make me happy. The more I feel my connection (on any level) to my X deteriorate (As I rarely speak to her, it is practically non-existent). The more I do things I like, the more I fill up my time and live my life, the more the connection disappears, the more I think about her less, the more I detach and around and around.

So here is the question, for those who have reconciled by detachment, or have read about others reconciling by detachment can you explain those stories or point me in the right direction? I have read most of Mozza's links, but I am interested in reading more.