Hey Shakes - Sounds like you are in a peaceful yet still sad and painful place.
Originally Posted By: Shakspr
...it's odd how she seems to be moving forward, feeling good about herself (except when it comes to SS16...she seems downright embarrassed about that.) To an independent observer, I suppose I look like the messed up one. I tell myself that it's not true, and that long-term, there's really no comparison. But in the here and now...I want her whole world to come crashing down around her and everyone, including her, to see what a mess she's made. It's childish and pedantic, but it's how I feel.
I don't find this odd at all - she has to prove to herself she made the correct decision, after all. I think everyone here has had some version of your wish for their WAS's world to come crashing down - I think its just human nature - it says something very good about you that you can see past it to the effect on your kids. For me this takes a slightly different form - I feel a competitive nature arising in me. STBX left just when his career was finally starting to take off - and now I feel a new determination to outdo him on that front. I don't know that it will last forever - but since I have two kids and a houseful of animals dependent on me - I'll take the motivation, even if its petty at the moment.
I'm very impressed that you don't think negatively about your XW. I wish I was there with you. I tend to waffle back and forth. I do think mine is a good man who has lost his moral compass, but there's an awful lot of deceit to work through. There were probably 10,000 ways I could have improved as a wife, but I was a faithful one, and I was always in his corner. I think I've actually lost my respect for him- but I know that can be regained.
I am indeed looking forward to my household projects. My nephew is coming to visit while he is on leave from ranger school in a few weeks - and I may have to take advantage of him to get some things done that literally require heavy lifting.
Prayers for you and your family - especially for SS.
