Thank you Joe, LT, mirage and Wonka, I have come to a place where I really don't care what STBXW did to me or my life. Yes, it hurt and yes it was wrong and suks and all that but I'm a grown man who should be able to take care of myself in the end. It's that she can do these things to her own D's and still not see. My D15 let me really see her scars for the first time yesterday. They are deep and raised and will be there for most of her life. She won't be able to wear short sleeves for God knows how long without people noticing, something every teenager hates to begin with. All I could think was I wish I could take this away for her. I know there was nothing more I could have done. I tried to find ways to get my W involved in her life over the last few years but W just wouldn't do anything unless it was with her friends or father.
I feel like I should have fought harder when W first left to keep D15 closer to me, maybe put her in a different school. Thing is if I had done that things between her mother and her might even have been worse. I just don't understand how she can see the consequences of her actions so plainly in those scars and still not stop and reassess what she has been doing. It's easy to ignore when other people hurt inside but to see it right there forever etched into her own D's flesh and still be able to ignore or rationalize it away is mind boggling to me and makes me think W may just be so evil that she doesn't care.
What she has done is now going to stay with D15 for the rest of her life. She will always be reminded of the pain that was caused because her parents couldn't make a M work. That cuts me to the quick and I'm so very angry at my W and the people who told her what she was doing was "right".....basicly her father and his OW wife. Is it wrong to wish them ill because of what they did to my D? I know forgiveness is important and I may be able to forgive what was done to me, but I can't ever imagine forgiving what she/they did to my D. Especially when they are still doing it!
