Is it really to late? Who knows....

[lost18]

So maybe a brief update.

One of the issues we've had in our marriage is we haven't really supported each other when it comes to the kids. Although, I may not have done a stellar job I was able to do a what I guess I can call a 180.

D13 has been injured and not playing with her team although she goes to most practices and tournaments. Instead of wearing the full uniform she only wears her jersey. So the conversation between her and I went something like this:

D13: I don't want to wear my whole uniform tomorrow
M: ok, so don't
D13: Dad said I have to.
M: Why? You haven't been, I don't see why you have to if you're not playing.

Fast forward to dinner the conversation comes up again.
Not sure exactly how it went but D13 says something about NOT wearing her full uniform.
H says yes you are and I ask him why.
He says she's part of the team and that's the uniform
D13 again says she's not going to wear full uniform
I said yes she was and she argued saying I told her she didn't have to.
I responded along the lines of that was before I knew how dad felt and I'm supporting his decision. (she wasn't happy).

So although this is a minor thing and I didn't start out great I was at least able to turn it around and stand together with H.

I'm still struggling a bit with our interactions, do I say good morning (he's usually on the lanai in the mornings and I don't normally go out there) do I say good bye. I guess I'm just confused, these are things I will have to ask in my next coaching session.

H did ask me why I was so pissed about him going North for a couple months, I said I thought about it and a big part of it was I was jealous that I can't go up there for that long. He said that's kind of what he thought, so we talked and agreed that D16 and I will go up earlier and he will drive up with D13 after her tournament. So, although I still feel like we are planning separate vacations together, I am planning on enjoying my vacation!

I've read a success story a few times where the H states that he stayed friends with his WAW through separation and her being involved with OM and eventually being friends worked out for the best. I feel like H and I truly are friends, (although I want much more I just need to continue to be patient). He shares things with me, about his project, politics, family, his old buddies...we have a new inside joke and laugh about it...there are some positives. I just need to continue making changes for me...which I admit is not always easy to do, but I do think the biggest thing is taking care of myself as far as my depression and other medical issues.

Purpose, passion, patience and perseverance!