Thanks vanilla. I know you are right. Am looking for a good counselor to help me. Don't even really know where to start. Tonight I found out that my H is planning to take the OW on a 4 day vacation to a remote island in the Bahamas. This hurts on so many levels
he is taking a big step in their relationship it is a very special family place that he is sharing with her plus the 2 of us never went there alone expensive trip the weekend my daughter moves out of college housing into first real apt.
I told him I'm not trying to stop him from going but if he plans to do that he really needs to move out. He said if I go don't tell the kids about the affair let him talk to them. He said he will not move out. He wants me to give him two years to set the kids on the right path and essentially have me be the mom and provide the cover of respectability and he's not sure what he wants but he thinks its her but I owe him that. Then he basically threatened me by saying if he moves out he will never come back because they are so close and perfect,etc So I said that is completely selfish and if he knows now that that is what will happen he should move out now and try it out.
So I know that I should let him go. I'm just scared that he is right and I hate to be the one to push him out. Every time we talk we go in circles because I say something really straight forward and reasonable and he twists it into the past or something negative or irrelevant such as saying that I am using our kids.. I know I am right that he is actually doing that by saying I should stay in the farce of a marriage that he suggests for their benefit. I just need some help with the words to say what I want clearly and not let him confuse me
