2nd day on the job went great! I really like this new job -- which is so new (no one has ever held this position before) that I have the opportunity to really shape what this role becomes within the department. How cool is that?!
W still in monster mode. For the record, according to her, I am the most selfish and laziest person in the world and EVERYTHING that is wrong with her life right now is ALL my fault. In fact, she hasn't said this to me yet, but if things are going south with OW then I am quite certain that she is going to blame all of that on me as well -- because I didn't get out of the house soon enough for her and OW to really pursue a R and figure out if it would work.
I know that none of that is true -- but it is what she believes right now and no one can convince her otherwise. Her own mother today told me not to believe a word of it and that in her opinion my W is making the biggest mistake of her life and destroying a perfectly good life with me.
So on to next steps... finding a new place to live that is suitable for a family and leaving W to self-destruct here on her own. Of course I will continue to pray unceasingly for her (and for "us"), but she needs the space and time on her own -- and I need to be away from her for my own sanity. Although, I really am doing great now -- monster no longer scares me and I don't feel as vulnerable now that I have a GREAT new job that will allow me to do much more than just "survive."
I believe I read someone else on another thread mention something about how horrible it must be inside of the MLCer's head and I can believe it. The pain that my W is suffering right now is written all over her face and in her body language. Even though I do think OW is still in the picture (but not sure for how much longer), it is very clear to me that my W is horribly miserable and completely unhappy. It really is sad to observe because I do love her and I do want her to be healthier and happier -- but that won't happen until she wakes up and begins to see reality (the way the rest of us see it) and begins to accept that the work that needs to be done is inside of her. Until then I am afraid she is just going to keep trying to latch on to the "next new thing" to try to self-medicate and make the pain go away temporarily. Really sad.
Me 48, Her 50 (Same-Sex Couple) 3 Children Together: 9.5 years before BD BD: Week of 10/27/14 ExW started EA w OW 9/2014 ExW married OW 12/2015
