*M 13, T 15 *3 kids (D10, D8 & S5) *Bomb 3/2/15, H left & moved in with parents *Discovered other woman 3/15/15 (at least an EA since 2/1/15) but spent the night of his Bday at her home so probably PA! *Discovered H emails soliciting women for sex in July&Oct14 *Realized H is most likely suffering MLC after reading DR at end of March. Talked to his family & friends & they all agree he is definitely different & most likely working thru something & all agree that it's probably more then me & he's crazy. Lots of challenges in the past 3yrs for H (& myself being his support). 3yrs ago found out S has genetic disorder, H recovering alcoholic, DUI 10/13, sober since, severe car accident 9/14, H laid off 12/14. *believe he's in MLC cause he now talks strange (often sounding very philosophical), he talks a lot abt his childhood now (looking at old pics, revealing being in his old room, in his old town like he's a kid again), he no longer wants to live in our town which we've always loved & we're very involved & have great friends, he's also obsessed with his appearance & buying new clothes. *practicing very good 180, I took a long hard look at my part in our problems & decided to work on myself & I've made very noticeable changes & H has definitely recognized but he's bitter that it took him leaving for me to work on myself. I tell him I realized I want us to work out. *4/18/15 another woman (different from the 1 mentioned previously) calls me claims she's been involved with my H for 3yrs!!! He swears just a friend that became obsessed with him but after taking a long look at cell bill found H calls her almost everyday, several times a day including long conversations on our anniversary, Cmas Eve & my Bday!!! *last 7 wks we've spent about every other day together (H has only taken kids by himself 2 days) otherwise he involves me in his visits (???)
Today I've been beside myself about this 3yr relation with OW so today I told H I want to go to counseling. I asked him about this relationship of 3yrs. He said she's just a friend...wouldn't answer where they met, why he called her everyday (he says to talk) & he doesn't recall calling her on holidays, beats & anniversary! I said I deserve to know more he said he doesn't have to tell me anymore cause he's ready to move on & end our marriage! I told him I want to lay out all of our past problems on the table, work it all out, burn it & move on to a stronger, better us. I also asked if we can try dating each other again,..he said No he doesnt want to.
Despite how awful this all sounds I do want to save my marriage, it was really amazing for a long time but we lost our way & obviously other people (unknown to me) became a factor. My H still shows occasional affection, stares at my mouth when I talk as if he wants to kiss me (I know that look), spends a lot of time with just me when our kids run off playing, he even encourages kids to do their own thing so we can watch tv together, he finds ways to stand close to me & he keeps love emails I've been sending to him in his inbox (which he diligently cleans out several times a day...yes I have access to his email cause we never had anything to hide or so I thought & we shared passwords...he would often have me chk his email)...if he definitely wanted to end us why would he be doing all these things? Especially keeping my love emails, he could easily delete them?
So after today's talk I'm going to back off a bit more again.
I guess all I can do is wait. Please share any advice.
M40 H38 M13 T15 D10, D8 & S5 (Special Needs) H refuses MC & wants Mediate D BD 3/2/15 & H left, EA 3/15/15, probly PA A Grateful Heart is a Magnet for Miracles! I have decided I will save our Marriage!
