Do you know your own Love Language? Do you know your W's Love Language?
Ever bought the 5 Love Languages by Gary Champman? It is a very good resource that is in line with DBing. Know thyself.
My LLs are QT and PT.
Women, generally, need to feel the emotional connection before the sex part. Women want to feel that they are desirable, beautiful, smart, capable. Sex is an extension of that.
Men, generally, need sex to feel emotionally connection with their wives. Sex to you is the glue that keeps the connection.
The trouble with two separate needs is that they clash and issues crop up in the intimacy. Women get very, very resentful if they feel that they're being 'used' to meet their husband's sexual needs thus feeling very objectified.
Emotional intimacy can be build up in other ways without the sexual component such as walking, holding hands, hugging, affectionate ruffle of the hair, talking about one's dreams and aspirations, asking about their day, their project...that is what drives a woman's engine.
You need to work on your self-esteem and confidence. A secure person celebrates the other person's gifts, interests, hobbies, friends, family and achievements.
Work on uncovering that man that's lost within you, Rip. Think back on how, when, and what made your W be attracted to you in the first place. Rediscover that man.
