The end

[mustardseed]

previous thread
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2535507#Post2535507


This was my last post on my last thread.

Thanks v. I love reading your posts. They mean a lot to me. I survived the day and let my anger propel me forward rather than staying stuck. I stayed dark. And it got easier as the day went on. I'm making plans. I got tickets to see a matinee next weekend. I'm going alone but through a meetup group so the price was better than it would be. I'm excited and nervous to do it. Before marriage and kids I loved going to the theater but it isn't his thing, and Broadway has gotten so expensive it was hard to justify the cost. I also made plans to take surf lessons with my sister this summer. I developed a fear of waves sometime in my early teens, as a kid I was a fish and loved getting Thrown around in waves. Then all of a sudden I got skiddish. So what better way to reinvent myself then to overcome that fear.

I still have no idea if I will have my job come june. But I'm not so worried about it anymore. If I have it--great! I'll have to work over the summer but it will be a shorter day. So I can still do my surfing. If I don't have my job--something else will come along. And I will get my summer pay and apply for unemployment. And look for a new job. I will move out as soon as legally advisable and stay with my parents until I can get back on my feet. I am going to move on and rihht now the only people I need to care about is myself, my kids, and my dog. He can drop off the face of the earth with whatever old hag he chooses.

I messed up today and sent him a picture that made me think of him. I didn't think before I sent and by the time I caught myself it was too late. Oh well. I don't care. It over whether I sent it or not so why do I care.

But unfortunately it got me focused on them again instead of me. I had a pretty good day today at work. Left a message for the lawyer to make an appointment.