Thank you for filling in on some details as they're helpful in understanding your situation a bit better.
Here's some action steps you need to take:
1) Stop all pursuing/pressuring 2) GAL...get out of the house and be mysterious 3) Keep your eyes open and gather intel to verify if there's an A
If and when you do get confirmation of an A, COME here first for advice and guidance before doing anything. We can offer suggestions and ideas on how to handle this aspect. For now, don't say anything.
You asked some questions:
Plus if I just focus on all those techniques of going dark she won't be able to cake eat because I'll be distant, right?
Distance doesn't necessarily stop an affair or cake-eating. It is a combination of approaches and being consistent with them that turns around a shaky marriage.
First order of business for you is to take a long and HARD look at your faults, patterns, and contributions to the marriage's break down. What were W's main complaints about you?
Are you a verbal guy? Are you a reserved guy? What are your primary Love Languages? What about your W's LL?
And most affairs end on their own after 6 months so there's still hope
Most affairs average between 6 months to 2 years. We need to tell you straight up that this will be a hard and long slog in DBing. Affairs just don't fizzle out overnight. It is a long, drawn-out break-up process. Be prepared to DB for a lot longer than 6 months. I have never seen an A end under 8 months as long as I've been here. Most are usually 1 to 2 year mark.
Also why would she be asking my opinion on if I think she's fat or how she looks. Why would she care about my opinion if she's with that dude? Wouldn't his opinion mean more than anything?
She doesn't really care about your opinion. She just wants a confirmation that you're still there and keeping you as a plan B. They've already emotionally checked out of the M and see you as a "friend" so they talk to you like one...not like a husband.
