Ripken - Trying LRT and going dark. Now what?

[Ripken8]

She mentioned in January she had gone to dinner with another guy on a date but gave him a hug and nothing physical. Is he wouldn't tell me who he was and kept him from me. I snooped on fb and discovered who it was based on a concert she suddenly was going to that he was posting about. I called her on it and her response was "so u figured it out I thought u were spying on me". She told me they were just friends. I told her if she has to hide him from me I can't accept that and if she went to the concert I would assume she was choosing his relationship over mine and didn't want to be married to me anymore. She didn't say anything and he concert was the next night. I caught her before she was driving off and asked if this meant she wants a divorce. She responded "if that's what u want". She the. Continued to say they are just friends. I told her I don't know how I can trust that and I would only be thinking about the two of them. She stayed with a friend that night that she works with as it was a weekday. I learned then that rules without a relationship equal rebellion and no matter what I said she would rebel. She called her sister after our exchange in the driveway and told her I wanted a divorce and she didn't know why because he was just a friend and felt I was controlling her. Her sister has been confiding in me and helping me because she knows something's off with my wife. When she came home the next day I told her how if I want her to trust me I need to trust her. Someone has to go first. I don't want s divorce and if she says he's just a friend I trust that and trust that she won't put herself in a position to have an affair. She said if she ever felt that way about someone she would tell me. Since then I have to trust her or it's like I'm not doing what I said.