Coming Home

[mleigh4]

Thank you Job. I went back and read the text exchange before deleting it, and I will admit, I wasn't very nice. There was a point where I should have just dropped it. I should have, and will in the future, gave him an actual time I was expecting S home. H is no mind reader, just like me. So, my bad in letting it escalate. I had made my point and then should have just let it go.

I know I was not feeling very warm and fuzzy towards him last night. I was irritated with the overall disruption of the weekend by him. I have been feeling irritated OVERALL with his disruption in our lives lately. I seem to be back in the anger phase these days. He can't even give S a bath because the dump he is renting is still in the middle of the bathroom remodel, going on 3 months now.

Our past few interactions have been very short and sweet.... by me. When I think of things I need to tell him or ask him, I make a list and do it all at once when I need to see him to avoid talking to him more than I need to. When I drop off S, it's a quick hi and bye, I can't wait to get away from there! He tries to make small talk, tell me about things, and I basically half listen. Yesterday he was even telling me that he had talked to S about helping me more around the house, told him specific things to do. Nice, right? I didn't even make eye contact with him, I was thinking, I don't need your help with my S, thank you. I am not doing a good job of "keeping the door open" right now. In fact, I feel like I have it closed right now.

I am thinking a lot about how happy I am with him out. I mean, happier than I have been in years. There were so many things that we clashed on, so many things he always criticized me about. It's all gone. I know our issues were and are fixable, but I am really enjoying my freedom right now. It's only been 3 months, so I know that may change.

I think I need to do a better job of listening to him, no matter what he is rambling about. It's common courtesy.

Also Job, your comment about him making himself sick.... The same thing crossed my mind as this followed the very quiet week and I was thinking, maybe he is starting to look within and see the damage he has done. Time will tell, not getting my hopes up