I am sorry to read you are in a dark place right now. Breathe and the darkness will pass over you. I promise you that. Just breathe, that's all you have to do. I know it feels hopeless and you are are ashamed about the drinking but there is a bright spot just around the corner. What is that song - It's always darkest just before the dawn. It's true my friend.
Suicide is never the way out, it just creates more pain. I know you don't want to do that, isn't that right RealMe? You just want to get out of your pain, I know that, I have been in your place, in your shoes, right where you are.
Please call your doctor and tell him/her about you thoughts of self harm. They can help you, and help get you stabalized.
Please do this for me? For all of us here on the DB Board who care very much about you?
