Get a grip...for real. DBing is a tough, long, and HARD slog. We all have had some real down moments then the next day is better and we pick ourselves up.
Trust me: not a single misstep will derail the process. Step back now and let cooler heads prevail. I hope you do seek help with your alcohol. I don't know how the AA system works, but isn't there a buddy or sponsor that you can connect with to get you back on the right track?
Here's the thing, it took a while for the marriage to get into the place it is right now and it will take a long time to right the ship. You don't turn a battleship on a dime, right? Battleships move slow as they make a 180 turn. Likewise with your M through actions, words, and behaviors that are consistent with honor and integrity.
Take the long-view....a series of steps forward will get to a better and stronger marriage.
We're in the foxhole with you...right beside you. We are your friends here. Your real-life friends don't know what they're talking about and just want your pain to go away.
