One of the positives about DBing and getting a divorce is that those issues are brought up to the surface and forces us to view them with a clearer lenses. In this way, we learn valuable lessons about ourselves and clarifies what we want in the next partner. During my own journey, I was very mindful of my responsibility to watch out for potential and real "red flags" in each of my dates/girlfriends.
Throughout the process, it allowed me to refine what I truly want and need in a partnership. In fact, I wrote down a list of qualities, attributes, and characteristics I want in my next partner/marital partner. There is this girl that I really, really like now that meets almost all of those attributes. Additionally, I've sat back and observed her interactions with others--friends, waiters, cashiers, family members. I like what I see and I think she's a real keeper.
This gal is so different from Ms. Wonka and my other girlfriends. It is truly refreshing and rewarding to truly enjoy this woman's gifts. Mind you, I am practical in knowing that she has some flaws and my eyes are wide open. Heck, she's been unknowingly under my magnifying glass. That is the one great benefit from DBing is an enhanced or hightened sense of awareness. I guess it is a direct result of having one's innocence be completely stripped when your spouse has an affair.
It is a matter of determining which baggage you can accept and tolerate in the other person. Trust me, MB, you will get there in time. You'll find a man who is your equal in many ways and incredibly supportive of you as a woman and wife.
