One thing that kind of made me laugh on the inside was her asking,
W: "Was that really left open on my phone?" Me: "Yes, that really does not matter, that is beside the point." W: "I just cannot believe I was that stupid."
As I mentioned at the very beginning of my sitch, I had wished I found this source when I first got the news, because I did all the wrong things at first. So, the conversation got down to, "Why weren't you doing this before?" I had to explain a few things about what kind of state I was in (A discovered, Bomb dropped, best friend dying, trying to recover from what happened in May...). Basically, a storm of horrible news knocked me over further than before and I was just not cognitively there. Then I realized (with help) that I needed to stand up for myself, and I cannot let people walk over me. That I did not feel like anything I said was being heard, that I felt like I had to actually do something about it. So, yes, at this point, it feels like anything I do or say that goes against what she feels justified in doing, is going to feel vindictive to her. Especially with OM spewing crap into her ear.
She also claimed she feels like no one is supporting her in her recovery. We support your recovery wholly, not the A. Thought: unfortunately she seems like she put herself in a position where she feels like the only way she can recover is with this OM, and without him, she is miserable. Attaching herself to this OP for her sole source of happiness. Not healthy in my opinion, opposite of what she was supposed to be doing. With her past depression and current justification - everything is negative with me again.
I may actually suggest other friends who are married or getting married, to read DB or DR just so they know what to do if it ever gets to that point. That, or it may help them anyway, or reinforce what they are doing already, prevent getting to this point.
Letting go, but not giving up. Just going to continue to work on myself and be the best person I can be, not there yet. Still planning to go to MC appointment, talk to her about some things.
I am supposed to help W's family with some home improvement at the end of this week. That should be fun. Hopefully they do not ask me anything, though I expect them to. I suppose I can pull the, "It may be better to speak with W about that."
