No update. 3 line all biz email still ignored. I figure the email was a blow to H ego in two ways - pointing out he hadn't followed through on his urgent need to get finance agreement checked out, and the rejection piece, finality of it. No sad me, no hoping or leaving door cracked. So I am being ignored. Honestly surprised as bad as he looked like he wanted to sign that stuff last weekend.
So, last night an older friend told me that as strange as this all was compared to the guy he thought he knew, he felt deep down my H was dangerous.
For the last year I got very strange flashes every couple of weeks, an image of my H and I ,pleasantly approaching each other, starting to pass each other in a doorway and him suddenly going nuts on me, stabbing or beating me. This was a re-occurring thing. And I would think, Z, wth is that? Nothing like that EVER happened but it was vivid, always a doorway where he turned on me. I'd be wide awake 'seeing' this. And figured it was just a blip in my head the way sometimes other random thoughts or images come to mind. I am not sure anymore, maybe on some level I felt how he hated me.
Mid 30's Psych-abusive M with violent tantrums from XH D 9/15; NC forever on
