Ripken - Trying LRT and going dark. Now what?

[Joe46]

Rip, it is not very easy detaching while spouse is still living in the house. But others have pointed out that they think it is harder being physically separated. For me, I struggled with this alot. Sandi started a thread called For The Newcomer LBH with a Wayward Wife. Read through both threads. It will answer alot of your questions. Toots also gave you some great ideas in the GAL department. I also struggled with this. Most of my time is at work or taking care of my kids. I started finding new and fun things to do with the kids. We live in a small town. Not much to do. I take them to the movie every other weekend. At night when they are in bed, I exercise and than read the self help books suggested by others on here. I post on here when I struggle. And when I am doing okay. Even when I did not get replies, I used this place as a journal. The biggest thing is do whatever you need to get the focus off HER and onto YOU. Start by going one hour at a time. Than one day at a time. Find little things that make you happy.

I avoided alot of contact with my WW in the beginning. I struggled between just ignoring her and being friendly. It takes time. The biggest thing was learning to STFU and just do my own thing. Even when I wanted to say something about how she was acting or what she was doing, I didn't. You need to do this for YOU! But you will be surprised by the little 180's that get noticed. I started doing things for myself and one day W blew up and asked why I was doing all these things I never did before. My reply was, " because I want to and I am moving on with my life with you or without you".