Just an observation. Any of you with more expertise want to tell me what this may indicate about his personality? It is a pattern.
D4: (holding face). Ow! Ow! STBX: what happened? What's wrong? D4: dada, you poked me in the eye. STBX: how did I poke you on the eye? (Moves on to something else).
H and I fought often about his inability to apologize or be accountable for his actions. I've recently read something about how some people say "I'm sorry" too often, for things that are out of their control, or honest mistakes.
But can't you validate someone's feelings even if it's an honest mistake. ..if your mistake caused them harm or pain? Can't you validate someone's feeling ("ouch! That must hurt! It wasn't my intention to poke you in the eye, I hope you're ok. Do you want a hug? How can I help you feel better? ")
This isn't the first time I've seen him do this with our D. It pushes a button that's for sure.
is this a version of narcissism? I used to say he couldn't bear to be thought of as the "bad guy", so when I would express upset at him, he would debate and argue why my feelings weren't justified, rather than just say "I'm sorry I hurt you".
