Wife Still in MLC but now left #9

[Lifes Twists]

Matt,

You have to figure out how to stop trying to make sense out of chaos. Your wife for now is not going to make rational sense and will take bad advice over good advice any chance she gets. We, the rational, cannot figure out why they, when given a good opportunity, will choose the bad one instead. Its irrational and cannot be corrected by us. I can offer my ex good things or solutions all the time and she will choose the hardest route she can to avoid accepting them. its in my nature to continue to offer when it is to the benefit of my daughters. I just have to have no expectations. You need to get to a place where you have no expectations of your wife or her behavior.

I am sorry that your daughter has chosen to seek attention from your wife in this way. I too have a fifteen year old who is seeking attention in a negative fashion. I also struggle with trying to help. I have to remind myself to just be there for her and let her know that she is important to me. I can't do anything about her actions to seek attention. I do put up boundaries when it goes too far. I expect as your daughter matures, she will grow out of this phase. Just be there for her and get her a comfortable situation with a counselor that she feels able to open up and share. Don't push yourself into the counseling as it will just push her away. If she or the counselor feels the need to share something they will. Just let the counselor know you are available.