Hi Ripken, have another read of those sections of the books if you're unsure....But as I see it 'dark' is about not seeking interaction at all when you are at home. Living your life like a flatmate, where you don't have much to do with your other flatmate. Making your own plans. But in a pleasant, breezy and busy day.
I agree that being there the whole time may not help you let go. Have a think about your GAL. Working out is great - but why not drop a couple of nights and make plans to get out of the house. The best GAL is the kind that 'stretches' you - involves new people and activites. That really starts to put your focus elsewhere and helps with the letting go.
Now, I say that this GAL is mainly for you, which is true. But it's no bad thing to give her a bit of a 'jolt' too. Now she's thinking - "Oh Ripken just works out in the gym every night...he's predictable." So, become a little unpredictable....head out for the evening with plans! But the important thing is those plans are mainly for you - what she notices is just a side effect - and you're not doing it for the effect on her.
Did you have interests before your R that you 'let go' and would like to take up again? If you and she were never to reconcile, what new things would you like to be doing. Do them now!
Just on the coming back late thing. It has clearly bothered you. Starsky often posts about stuff like this.....along the lines of - if it's after midnight, the door will be locked and the alarm set and don't bother coming home. I'm not a vet, and please don't do this based on my advice, but it's something to explore.
Now, let's hear about these GAL plans you are going to make....
Last edited by Toots; 04/20/1507:31 AM.
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
