WAS asked for divorce today.

[aNewGuy]

So tomorrow the W wants me to decide whether I will make her serve me D papers, or I will willingly go and sign them.

I still feel like I should put up a fight and have her serve me the papers - even though she told me in a text that this would prevent us from having a friendship.

Today I worked my new second job, enjoyed it, and then I went to the shooting range with a friend - it was a good day! Haven't heard anything from my wife since Friday when we saw one another at work, but tomorrow we will see one another again.

I still have a long way to go.

I feel like I need to reveal something about this situation that could perhaps be dangerous to reveal, but is a truth about my situation nonetheless. We live in a place where marijuana is legal and two years ago we started using this together.

I am someone who prefers that over any of the other "Vices" many people choose.

BUT... Here is the main point - when someone uses this, they say to themselves, "I know I need to deal with thus and so, but I am going to smoke tonight and then tomorrow I will deal with it." Rinse and repeat this 700 times, and this situation is what you get.

We have no children, so what's the harm, we would say.

Let me tell anyone reading this that if you are doing this and having trouble in your marriage you need to stop this right now. It will cause you to not see the seriousness of your situation. Stop it now - it is like a parasite which takes up space which should be occupied instead by caring for the needs of your partner, your family, your marriage. Trust me, you can deal with painful happenings or circumstances one little bit at a time as they come, day by day. This is the correct path to take - you deal with things as they come up. OR, you can choose to smoke (or drink, for that matter) your troubles away and one day you will find that they are still there, but instead of having dealt with them along the way you will be facing them all at once!

I smoked my last joint the day she moved out.

I shall never write of this again online. I hope I have not violated any policy by admitting this on this very special and blessed online forum, but I feel you all should have some truthful insight as to how a marriage I described as just excellent could have gone so far in the other direction without cause. There was cause, neither of us cared because we were choosing to numb the pain of so much loss we had in the past two years instead of facing it head on.

And tomorrow, I must make my decision as to whether I will cooperate with the divorce by going to the lawyer's office and signing papers (we do not have ay disagreement on the division of our assets) OR if I will stand up for myself by saying no, I don't have time to go to the lawyer's office, you should serve me with these papers instead.

I'm just sad that all of this happened, it is a real loss to our community and to each other that we are in this place and I pray that God will restore our marriage one day with forgiveness and healing and laughter and that both of us will be healthier and happier because of all of this having happened.

Oh, and in pursuit of getting a life I have made plans for a camping trip next month with some friends! I'm already excited about this, hoping to have a really good time!