Surviving the rollercoaster by getting off two.

[Mozza]

I'm mildly surprised. My main theory was still that he was clumsy. What you're saying about his clothing would be another clue, especially if he showed up like this on the first date when his level of interest should be at least high. My other idea, today, was that he was nervous about getting into bed with you. Reading Models made me realize that guys can have issues at any step of the dating process. For me, the biggest hurdle is the initial contact, but for some it's the conversation after, the physical touch, asking for the phone number, the first kiss, inviting home, getting frisky, etc. I thought he might be getting nervous knowing that the next date might end up in bed. Performance anxiety? Fear of letting you down and being dumped? To me, these options were all on the table.

Then again, he did send mixed signals and his withdrawal is not totally a surprise. I'm very happy that you took the time to be very direct with him and it gave you the answer you needed at this stage.

I think you've been a little hard on him in your last message. I'm not sure he lead you on. These feelings are hard to identify and he might still have been working on them. For instance, at the previous date maybe he kissed you to see if it would awaken something in him, the way that it did for you. At the next date, he might have been giving it one last go, and then in the days after, he might have been pondering. Your email might have been what made him make a decision. Should I receive an email like this, it would make me even more nervous about dating because there are already tons of unspoken rules and now I'd feel like I missed more of them and I should very quickly know if I'm into a girl or not and then let her know.

Also, I'm sure you know that you will "waste" a lot of time in dating. Not everyone will be able to tell you on sight that they are not interested. You seem attractive so some people might want to give it a go. Feelings will not always be clear after a couple of dates. Hopefully, you'll enjoy the process itself without having too much expectations. You seem to be moving on fairly well, under the circumstances.

I can't wait to see what impact it has on your perception of STBX.