Alpha Step At A Time #5

[alpha99]

Hi onetheup,

I'm glad you had a lovely weekend with your D. Time with your children is truly a precious thing isn't it, especially since they grow up so quickly.

I do feel I'm on the right path with regards to detachment. I haven't checked anything W related since I deleted/logged out of everything. Now, when I do think of W, which is less than it was even just 2 weeks ago, I no longer feel that aching longing for her. Truly starting to GAL has helped enormously for that. in fact I do have the worry that I become too detached, to the point where I become indifferent to the chance of R. There's no point denying that potential female attention has played a part in that. I don't want to date. I have thought of the John Lennon line 'life is what happens while you're busy making plans' though. I guess it's a personal decision but at what point do you say enough is enough and move on with your life. One thing that stops me in my tracks is the determental affects on my children caused by a D.

A month ago if W had wanted to reconcile I'd have bitten her hand off. Hypothetical I know but now I would have to consider whether it is really, really what I want. At what point do I put my own happiness in front of that of my children. Doing so would seem so incredibly selfish. I do love my W still, just I feel I've moved to the point where it's not an all conquering thing, it's something that can be held in check and I am in control over whether I open the door to those deep and intense feelings again or not.