That statement was really bittersweet. How do you interpret your W when she tells you she is thankful for me and that you are great? In normal circumstances, I would turn the tables and tell her how she is the same. Today, I just validated her feelings. Said I can understand how she feels that way. I felt like a dang robot reciting code. Felt weird, but I did not want to overdue anything.
You told her you could understand how she could feel you are great? LOL, maybe it would be better to simply say thanks. It probably felt weird b/c you didn't feel authentic.
I see a blend of two things you need. I would guess that words of affirmation is your love language, which is fine. In addition, I see a man who may appear secure on the surface, but he feels so insecure emotionally that he needs daily validation to stay afloat.
I could understand how a person could begin to confuse loving actions with his own insecurity. When you were describing how much you always tried to protect your W from any hurt, wanting her to call you, etc., you saw your actions as loving and caring. From where I sit, I could easily see those actions as smothering her. A lot of women would say it is a method of control. What you may believe comes from a place of deep love........may be more from a place of deep insecurity. I see where it could lead to co-dependency. Maybe it already has. I hope you will seriously consider these issues and what you can do about it.
Quote:
When my W left for work this evening, she told kids she loved them and gave them kisses. She even went as far as telling me she loved me and gave me a kiss. Then looked into my eyes after the kiss and told me that she was feeling love again.
Please don't put a lot of stock into it. It takes time to go from an EA back to feeling in love with her H. She may be trying to convince herself..........or something else. Just take it at face value and no more.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
