Another WW/WAW, Need Guidance

[Sotto]

"I do believe that I am justified in defining and enforcing the boundary that I will know who is coming into my home on move-out day. I do not let strangers into my home without meeting them first. I do this for the protection of my property, and my family. It is not about control. It is about protecting a safe place for may family to live, and being the master of my domain"

I'm not sure that defining and enforcing this boundary is justifiable. If you are still living in the home and your W moves in with OM, what can you do to protect your boundary and yourself? Ask him or her to move out - or failing all else - move out yourself.

On move out day, I presume you have moved out - and are no longer master of this domain. So, what can you do if OM moves in? You have moved out already. There is the financial aspect of course - and I'm not sure what arrangements will be in place. There has been some input on Rubicon's thread in this area if that helps. For example, if you moved out on Tuesday and OM moved in on Thursday, and you had agreed to pay all bills, it seems reasonable to reduce your payment as there will be a new person in the home. But of course, with a child involved, you would take care that they are not disadvantaged. It's more about not funding her wayward lifestyle.

Equally, if you had specific and valid concerns about the suitability of OM to be around your child, there would be steps you could consider taking.

But, without reading back through your sitch, it does sound as though it is hard for you to accept that OM may move in and that is something you can't control in the circumstances IMHO.