So great to hear from you. You must be getting close to your due date? Glad you were able to visit with your sister from Bonnie Scotland! Lol You will feel so much better once you are settled in your new place. I know I did. My Condo ( flat, apartment ) is my place of Solace. I decorated it the way I wanted and it is so me. Haha.
So to update you all. My Step daughter is doing well. I had her over for dinner this week. Her Dad's latest fling has moved to the otherwise of the country for a job. I wonder how the no expectations relationship felt when the no expectations went both ways! Lol He came up to my place when he picked up my SD. I hadn't seen him in many weeks. He made a point of hugging me hello and goodbye. I looked at him as someone I used to know. Strange how time does heal. I rarely contact him at all anymore. I try and arrange visits with my SD directly.
I'm planning two trips. Mexico in July for a week with SD and my daughter. My Son is coming out in late July from the UK for two weeks. Then in Sept I will be going to Scotland to see him and we will take a four day side trip. It keeps changing but looking like Portugal now.
I went on another date with my Fireman this week. This was date #6 and in honesty I'm not sure what to make of it. Mozza I'm sure I'm going to be hearing from you about this. Lol As you may recall Date 5 he finally kissed me. The week following he texted me pretty much every day. The difference I noticed though as he was being very friendly but less flirty. Because we both are shift workers planning a date takes some planning. I noticed we both had two days off together and said to him in a text " hey I'm planning my days off. We share two this week Wed and Thurs. Do you want to get together? " He said " Yup. For sure" I said " ok what day works best?" Let me know soon as my friends are wanting to see me too" he said How about Thursday?" I said " yep that works" So then I thought to myself. Well he's texting everyday and wants to see me so I will see what he's like on this date.
I have noticed that he will commit to a date but he never has a plan. He asked me what time worked but left it up to me to decide what to do. I'm not used to this especially in the early part of a relationship. Most men I've dated have a plan for the date. It was a beautiful Sunny day and I live close to the beach so I suggested going to the beach and choosing a place to have dinner then maybe a movie here. He said that sounded great.
So he came over and came up to my place before we left for dinner. He gave me a hug and a friendly but not passionate kiss. I found this odd since he had kissed me very passionately on our last date. My experience has been most men want to continue where the last date ended. We went to the beach in his car and we walked up and down so he could have a look at the choices of places to eat. He walked beside me but didn't hold my hand.( This also felt odd since he had held my hand on the last date.) we finally settled on a place and sat chatting for 2.5 hours while we enjoyed our meal with an Ocean view.
On the way home I had resigned myself to thinking this has gone backwards and he is either emotionally available or he's just not in to me. When we arrived at my place it was 940pm and I had to work in the am. I asked him if he was coming up. ( because we had said maybe a movie) fully expecting him to say he had to go and it was late. Nope he said yes he'd come up for a bit.
I suggested a movie and we sat together on my couch. Ten minutes in he grabbed my hand and held it. I thought WTFudge?! i felt like I was getting really mixed signals. I decided to just enjoy the moment and we enjoyed watching a funny movie holding hands. Lol
Once it was time for him to go I walked him down so I could take my dog out. He kissed me goodbye first the same kind of friendly kiss, then another kiss then another longer third kiss. I was feeling totally confused.
After he left I thought to myself that he may be commitment phobic or maybe emotionally unavailable. His behavior had me quite baffled. I decided that these are his issues and I am going to take a step back and leave him to figure out what he wants. If he texts I will reply and if he wants to see me I will if he asks but I will not initiate. He did text me the next day ( yesterday) while I was at work and said I hope you are having a great day at work. I replied a while later and kept it friendly but brief.
Today I haven't heard from him at all and I did not text. I know if I did he would reply but I'm not going to. To me he needs to put more effort in and not leave the plans to me. If he wants me he knows how to reach me. I have lots of things going on to keep me busy. To me my life is just fine and seeing him would be the icing on the cake but the cake is fine too all on its own. Lol
The old me would have made him my project. I would have knowing his childhood issues have tried to fix him. Not anymore.....
Me 52 H 44 T9 M 5 BD 12/11 H split 8/12 OW moved in 12/12 OW gone for good 6/14 We get closer again 9/14 SD 13 Me 4 Grown
Accept what is...let go of what was and have faith in what will be.
