Complex #7 - the green(-card) mile

[Complex]

Thanks Ontheup. In general it just doesn't make sense to date whatsoeber if you want to safe your M, and if there's any chance of reconciliation it would be even worse. We just live in a world now where all this stuff is normal I guess. But then I cannot be hypocritical and do things that are going against my values.

Often the last few months I caught myself wanting to do stupid things, to actively get over the M. Basically destroy it forever, it's very hard to explain. You want to destroy sth you want so bad but you know you can't and it'll just make it easier and faster. Not a healthy approach but it's hard to control your mind sometimes.

Thanks for your insight again Ontheup.. I'm glad for any kind of criticism even if it's harsh too. So I don't mind 25yrs post. I need to look at everything I do from many different perspectives. Everyone is very helpful opening new ones to me.