Alpha Step At A Time #5

[alpha99]

Toots, thanks for your words of caution. I know this could be a minefield if done wrongly. My intent is to GAL and make new friends. I need to keep that closely in mind.

Ontheup, thanks for the pointers. The sad reality is that everywhere I turn there are memories of one sort or another. Detaching is helping to separate the memory from its associated emotion.

Another fun filled day with my kids. I took them to an old stately home with gardens now turned public park. We played football, walked around the gardens, had an ice cream, played in the play area, and went into the little petting zoo. They loved it. Back home for dinner then a long afternoon walk followed by football in the local park.

I did take up the offer of going out tonight. It wasn't an official meetup thing and it turned out there was only me there (besides a pub full of people). I felt a bit of a lemon. Girl who invited me turned out to be the singer of the band playing. Small pub venue. We chatted briefly before, quite a lot in the break, and briefly again afterwards. She was really friendly, seemed nice, and I would like to make friends with her. Ultimately I had a good night.

Edit: hmm after I texted a thanks for the invite, she replied saying it would be nice to get to know me.

This past week to ten days has really been a detachment 101 crash course. I've been for many walks, visited relatives without moping about, enjoyed time with my kids, and been out socially on three occasions, and hopefully made a/some new friend(s). The intense feelings for W have diminished. I can do things and think about her less and less. Change of plans this morning meant I saw her briefly as I picked kids up. Without being cold I was a bit more reserved. Maybe in the past I've mixed being upbeat with being overly enthusiastic. It's a fine balance gauging it right. I don't know, maybe. All I know is with this detached feeling it's a lot easier to be less emotionally attached and responsive to W. I still want things to work out because a) she's my wife, and b) my kids don't deserve any of this.

I am feeling happier in myself though with the knowledge that if they don't I'll be fine.