It's a nightmare. Wake me up 2

[Zues126]

Thanks Toots. Very much in line with NMMNG as well.

I'm feeling more and more comfortable with who I am. Still struggling with how a future partner will be able to accept me.

When I play pool sometimes I can't even picture making the shot I need to shoot. If I can't make it in my head there's no way I'll make it in real life. Funny how you know you can't win even before you shoot the shot.

Same with M. Right now I can't picture a woman staying with me. It seems inevitable she will feel like she's settling, she's giving up her identity, she can't be happy as long as she's with me, and that she'd rather be free to have happiness in her future than to be stuck with me. All I can picture is her resentment and spew, her disrespect and contempt.

Clearly I still have a ways to go. But the biggest two things I'm looking for in my next woman would be commitment, and someone that can be accountable and manage through their resentment.

So for any women that feel they don't have much to offer, if you stood by your M through a bad marriage and you're not walking around with poisonous amounts of resentment towards your ex...you are quite the catch in my book. Not that you get there overnight...nothing wrong with going through the stages of grieving, as long as you just visit anger and don't live there forever.