It's a nightmare. Wake me up 2

[Zues126]

I was afraid of my WAW's anger before and after BD.

It came from me feeling deep down like I was insufficient and inadequate, undeserving of love. During the M I used her love to combat those feelings and make me feel ok. Then when she got angry it hurt a bunch because I felt like she was in line with my worst fears and agreeing that I was a failure, that I wasn't deserving of love. Coming from the person who I loved this was both profoundly hurtful and a betrayal, or so it felt.

I still have trouble dealing with criticism, rejection, and anger. That's why these boards are tough at time. 2x4s, other people reacting violently to your thoughts at times. I really get put off by anger and resentment, it's very uncomfortable for me. I can accept disagreement, but for it to be accompanied by hostility is upsetting to me.

Part of my growth is working towards working on a team with all of my emotions, including anger, so I don't spend my life trying to avoid emotions, but rather accept them and rise above them. To do that I have to face a lot of uncomfortable situations, but it's well worth it. BECAUSE- if you NEED your WAW's approval to feel ok about yourself it will be hard to detach. Only with self healing and self care can you be ok on your own, and then detach from her opinions and behaviors.